Hoang Son Anh

A few days ago, I came across a statement that caught my attention: “If you gave life to a child who would inherit your hardship and poverty, not giving birth would be an act of kindness.” This statement has sparked a heated controversy on all online platforms. Although it seemed to make sense at first glance, I grew increasingly uncomfortable as I thought about it.

It’s understandable why some people support this statement—no parent wants their child to live in poverty or hardship. Who doesn’t want their loved ones to be successful? Whether it’s in terms of health, finances, or relationships, we all want the best for future generations. In other words, stay as far as possible from hardship and poverty. Yet, the paths to get there are not merely based on a fixed formula, and this is where the debate began. In some families, parents clear all the snow on the road so that their children can run faster to the finish line, while others hand the shovels over to their kids. But removing all the obstacles doesn’t guarantee success, and running slower doesn’t prevent someone from reaching the top.

For those parents who hand their kids the shovels, “heat and pressure” are the key ingredients in making their “diamonds”. They believe that their children need to face challenges to become more gritty. In fact, resilience and perseverance are the vital foundations of a successful person. For these parents, the initial condition should never be blamed for failure. As one celebrity once said, “Thanks Mom and Dad for being poor so that I know how hard it is to make money.” Indeed, this sentiment is included in his million-view song lyrics, which emphasize happiness over material possessions.

Stepping away from the argument of how to get a “diamond,” buy one, or make one, the argument based on happiness hit me differently. People forget that not everyone can have a baby due to medical reasons, and they would pay a fortune to fix this. For them, if they couldn’t have a baby, they would be devastated. This feeling might be similar to the case in which someone has just lost a family member, and those who remain would trade everything they have to bring back their loved one. Of course, it’s not entirely the same, but the idea is that unfair starting points shouldn’t be blamed. Thus, instead of criticizing people for their desires, we should rephrase the quote to be as simple as: “Be prepared and responsible parents.”

In the end, we all want the best for our loved ones, but I strongly support the idea of raising children through challenges. Moreover, everyone has a different perspective and different goals they want to achieve, which we should all respect.